Sorry, I won't be a huge help, but here goes:
1. The Elite trim is advertised as having "additional soft touch materials" - where???
NOT SURE, I HAVE THE TOURING AND I THOUGHT THE TOURING & ELITE HAVE THE SAME INTERIORS, BUT THIS WOULD BE EASY ENOUGH TO CHECK WHEN YOU GO TO A DEALER, IF NO ONE KNOWS.
2. Is there a good third-party kit/hack for turning off the auto-stop/start?
YES, THERE ARE SEVERAL THREADS ON HERE ABOUT IT!
3. Has anyone found any nice third-party options for improving the looks of the front grille?
NOPE
4. Any rumors about new color or wheel options for 2021?
NONE
Good Luck and all I can say, that as an 18+ month owner, I still love driving mine (and I had two BMW's previous to my PP)...!